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My Latest Performance

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I thought I would share my latest performance with you. This was at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. My blood sugar was actually quite high before, during and after this. I haven’t quite mastered how to adjust my insulin to suit adrenaline yet. I’m sure it will come with time though. I’ve said in my earlier posts that I try to keep things low carbs on performance days, but since then I have been experimenting more with carbs and I actually feel like I have more energy for the performance if I have a well-balanced meal beforehand, even if it is only breakfast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly-_NQSW3f8

Anyway, I hope you like it. This piece is called “Lost In…” and at the time when I was creating it I really did feel a bit lost and unsure about a lot of things in my life. I think that’s the after effect of leaving uni and graduating. Onwards and upwards.

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Rowena x

Dresses and Insulin Pumps

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Dresses and Insulin Pumps I’m back in the UK now; I posted a few times on Instagram during my recent holiday. This trip consisted of me performing in Las Vegas which is something I have always wanted to do. Also, I watched three phenomenal shows; Britney Spears, Love by Cirque Du Soleil and Celine Dion. Obviously I wanted to dress up and to look nice so naturally I wanted to go shopping for some new dresses, but I didn’t need new dresses because I had plenty in the wardrobe that had not been worn yet. I have to admit that there was one dress in particular that I have had for about a year but had never worn because there was nowhere to put the insulin pump. However, all of that changed when I found out about the Girly Go Garter which easily held my pump to my leg and kept it neatly out of the way. What a miracle? Well, at least that is what it felt like.

Dresses and Insulin PumpsI took my pump off during my performance and my blood sugar sky rocketed with adrenaline. I was very nervous. Otherwise, my pump was on me all the time; even at the pool. When wearing day time clothes like shorts and a top I would just clip pump to my bottoms, then at night it would be in my Girly Go Garter.

043What do you do about your pump when you wear tight dresses? Do you just display it anyway? I don’t mind showing mine at all, but I think I just try to conceal it for my own mental benefit because I want to feel normal and not attached to anything. Or have somethin I’m definitely not worried about other people think about it.

Rowena x

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Forgetting to Take Spare Insulin

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Forgetting to Take Spare InsulinI left my house on Sunday morning around 8am so that I would arrive at Chichester for around 2pm. As usual, whenever I travel somewhere, even if it is just overnight, I take a few extra diabetes supplies such as test strips, cannula, insulin, hypo snacks and needle. However, there was one key ingredient missing this time around; insulin. Usually I fill the cartridge in my pump right up so that it would last a few days, but I don’t know what happened. I think I probably just forgot that is was running low and didn’t change it because I was only going away for the night.

Anyway, I was enjoying myself at the party and doing my boluses for my carbs which came from sandwiches and cake mostly. I checked my bg throughout the day and it was fine. I went to bed around 11pm and then my pump alerted me that my insulin was down to less than 20 units. Hmm. I thought, ok I will just low carb tomorrow until I am home and it will be fine.

I woke up around 7am, I took a small correction for the 9mmols bg and I went for a power walk along the canal. I got back and my bg was 5.6. Great! However, my pump now alerted me that there was no insulin left. None! It even made that really loud pitched alarm sound that goes off even if it is set on vibrate. Shit. What shall I do?

It was suggested by family that I call 111 to see if a prescription of mine could be faxed over to the nearest pharmacy. I did that, the man wanted me to wait two hours until the doctor called me back. I don’t think he understood what an insulin pump was as he was asking when my next dose was due. Errr, now! By this point I had had no basal for around an hour which was fine because I take my pump off for an hour every day for whatever form of exercise I am doing.

Anyway, instead of waiting to be called back I drove round to Tesco pharmacy and even though I showed the man my pump and its empty cartridge, he had to see some evidence that I was taking Humalog before he could give it to me. Understandable really. I asked if he would accept a photo of my insulin that was in the fridge at home and he said yes. A few phone calls later, I was sent a photo that I could show to the man to prove that I take insulin. He saw it, he said ok and I felt relieved until he came back to tell me that he had none of the insulin that was on the photo. He suggested I try boots pharmacy. I did, I rang them up and they had one bottle left of the Humalog vial 100ml. As soon as I got off the phone to them I drove round and they gave me the insulin after I showed them my pump and my picture of insulin. It was £8.20 for 1 vial in case you are curious.

I got back to the car, extracted the insulin from the vial and transferred it to the cartridge of the pump, spilled some, very smelly, checked my bg and took a correction. Starting bg was 5.6 and end bg was 8.9mmols with a time gap of about 3 hours.

I could’ve just driven home with no insulin, but I wasn’t sure how bad the traffic would’ve been. It took around 6 hours to get home. If my bg would’ve gone higher than 8.9 I would’ve felt like absolute shit during the whole ride and that is no fun for anyone. I am thankful for the pharmacies that are scattered here there and everywhere. Also, not that I will let it happen again, but if something like this were to happen again I would know what to do and would handle much quicker.

Has this happened to you? Have you forgotten your insulin?

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Rowena x

Reverse Dieting

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Reverse DietingRecently, I have been doing a lot of reading on reverse dieting as it links with my latest goal which is to push my metabolic capacity to its absolute maximum. The reason for doing this is that whenever I have lost weight in the past I have always been eating way too little for the amount of exercise that I do. But rather than only losing fat, I would lose a lot of muscle too. Why? Because my body would save the fat because it was worried about when it was going to be fed next, so whilst it was holding onto fat it would eat away at the muscle for energy. Thus, I weighed lighter and I looked smaller but this is because of muscle loss, not fat loss. This is unproductive and a waste of time because I want the strength. I train for the strength.

I have spoken about this briefly before, but as a result eating too little in comparison to what I was doing activity wise, I would get to a point where I needed to eat normally again in order to save my sanity. But, by increasing my calories too quickly I would gain fat because I didn’t give my body the time it needed to adapt to the extra calories. This cycle has happened for as far back as I can remember. I would eat very little, eat a lot, binge and repeat. The sad thing is, is that I know I am not the only one. So many women and men are told that that have to under eat in order to lose weight and it is definitely not healthy. For a long time when I was younger I didn’t care about my health, I just thought about looking thin and that was is. For someone who has pretty much always had an unhealthy relationship with food I am so glad I am finally allowing myself to consider other options.

Anyway, the end goal is that I want to lower my body fat and to be able to eat at a maintenance level without gaining the fat back that I had lost. Are you with me? I want to be able to eat at maintenance and stay at the same weight but I don’t actually know what that is for my body at the moment. Years of dieting, binge eating and over exercising to compensate for the binge eating has left me somewhere with a lot of questions that I need to answer through learning about what my body needs.

As mentioned earlier, I did initially gain a few lbs because I upped my calories too quickly but that has come to a halt and my weight has now levelled out each week even though I have certainly upped my carbs and fats. Since doing this I feel much more alert, more energetic and much fitter. Weight training has been much more productive and I feel so much stronger in everything that I do. If I can mentally get to the point of eating more food on a daily basis, I plan to keep upping my calories until I get to my suggested maintenance level which is around 2200cals per day. (with exercise).

Have you ever reverse dieted? Do you need to?

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Rowena x

Celebrating Without Food Or Alcohol

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Celebrating Without Food Or AlcoholIn one of my earlier posts I told you that I was setting up my own dance company and that I would be developing networks and making myself known. Well, that work has paid off and I have been hired to do some work for a dance company based in Liverpool. Brilliant, I’m happy! How can I celebrate? If you’d have given me something to celebrate a few years ago, way before I was diabetic, I would’ve gone out for a nice dinner and a good bottle (or two) of wine. However, now that I am a complete lightweight who can barely stomach a glass of wine I don’t really fancy a drink or the hangover that is inevitably attached to it. Well, what about the fancy dinner? Well, the fancy dinner is nice and all but I have nutrition goals too. Not particularly weight loss orientated at the moment but the goals I have set require strict attention (Reverse Dieting). Maybe if the good news would’ve landed on my re feed day I wouldn’t have thought twice about going for dinner. I know this sounds really boring, but I am being honest and I know that it will benefit me in the long run.

You might say, and my friends have said “you’re allowed to celebrate” Well, yes I know but with the amount of goals I have set for myself I plan on having a lot of things to celebrate, and celebrating with a lot of food just doesn’t work for me anymore. I’m not saying I don’t like food because I do, I love food. It’s just a difficult topic for me sometimes because of calculating insulin, calculating calories, working out the carbs and avoiding feeling like shit because of a high blood sugar. It seems like a lot of effort to go to dinner so maybe that is why I am put off it?

Anyway, it’s time to come back to the drawing board to think of ways that I can celebrate. I could buy a new outfit, I could get my hair done, and I could buy a film. Maybe I could buy a new book, treat a friend to coffee, go to the cinema and so on. There are millions of ways to mark an achievement and it seems that I have been stuck in the food and drinking rut. I suppose writing about it helps me see that I have a choice and shouldn’t be so closed minded when it comes to celebrating. How do you like to celebrate?

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Rowena x